Famous Quotes

I slept the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips

I was the kid next doors imaginary friend.
Emo Philips

I washed a sock. Then I saw him in the dryer. When I took, it was gone.
Rod Schmidt

I wear a necklace, because I want to know when Im upside down.
Mitch Hedberg

I wish I had the guts to tilt.
Paul Lynde

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell

I would talk in iambic pentameter and easier.
Howard Nemerov

Id luv to kiss ya, but I washed my hair.
Bette Davis

Id never in the game long enough for the flowers to die in the locker room.
Mercedes McCambridge

Im an idealist. I do not know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
Carl Sandburg

Im kidding about having only a few dollars. I have maybe a fewdollars more.
James Brown

Im not a real movie star. Ive still the same wife I started with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers

Im undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.
Hillary Clinton

Ive never been married, but I tell people Im separated, so they justthink a little wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler

My theory is that all Scottish cuisine is based on a bet.
Mike Myers