Famous Quotes

I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When she woke in the morning, that's as good as they are going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

I found that there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield

I have a love story in all my films: a firearm.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I have a new philosophy. Im not going to fear one day at a time.
Charles M. Schulz

I've never been hurt by what I can not say.
Calvin Coolidge

I have six locks on my door in a row. When I go out, I close all others.I tell myself, no matter how long someone picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler

I tried to know absolutely nothing about many things, and I have been quite successful.
Robert Benchley

I havent talked to my wife for years. I did not want to interrupt.
Rodney Dangerfield

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

I knew I was an unwanted child when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers

A child of five would understand that. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx

A friend is not going on a diet because you're fat.
Erma Bombeck

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw

A James Cagney love scene is when he let the other man living.
Bob Hope

Many baby boomers are Bongers.
Kevin Nealon