Famous Quotes

If God wanted us to consider hed put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers


If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks


If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin


If my films make one more person miserable, ill feel like I've done my job.
Woody Allen


If truth is beauty, how come nobody has done her hair in the library?
Lily Tomlin


If two wrongs do not make a right, try three.
Laurence J. sponsor


In the comics, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner


It all started when my dog ​​began getting free roll in minutes.
Jay London


It is a scientific fact that your body does not absorb cholesterol if you're from another persons plate.
Dave Barry


It is easy for me to love myself, but for the ladies to do so is another matter.
Johnny Vegas


It is even more difficult for the average ape to believe that he descended from man.
H. L. Mencken


Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
lenny Bruce


Moderation is a virtue only in those suspected to have an alternative.
Henry A. Kissinger


The money comes buy happiness, but it will pay a large research staff to study the problem.
Bill Vaughan


My plants have died because of fake, I do not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg


My father had a great influence on me. It was crazy.
Spike Milligan


My dad took me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
Jay London


My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Shes 97 now, and we do not know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres


My mother told me that an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
Angie Dickinson